Noble Dreams

Noble Dreams

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#1 Thu 27th Feb 2014 07:16 am

molly
♫♪
From: ∞
Registered: Thu 17th Apr 2008
Website

You Ever Just Feel Like An A##hole?

And no this isn't a post fishing for 'oh Molly, you're not an a$$hole!' comments.. I am not seeking reassurance. I am telling you I have been one in the past, & although I've not been as big of one as I was back then, it still happens. The human brain is weird.. it's like we're a mix of intelligent aliens mixed with primal apes. Even if you've felt you've reached some kind of spiritual enlightenment, acceptance, inner growth, there's always going to be some ape poop to slip on & fall on your butt. I need to be more forgiving and patient with myself. It finally dawned on me early this morning that I actually have some pretty bad self esteem issues, which I never completely fixed, didn't even try to very much, & instead just covered it up with various diversions because i simply just feel like I can not figure out all of my 'issues', what they stem from, & how i'm going to fix them. So instead i work on what i can fix.. i'm nice to my son, reading through gardening magazines making plans for the garden this season, got some new headphones so i can hear what i'm doing in music better, do good as i can at my job, do good as i can at not flipping out & yelling at people who are completely inconsiderate & disrespectful, etc.. to the point of.. oh wait i forgot about myself. what was i supposed to be doing? great now i'm stressed out, i'm alone, nobody to talk to, going crazy listening to my own thoughts blah blah blah...then magically transform into a bitch.. start reading stuff online & think to myself 'i hate these people' 'i hate how this works' 'i hate this i hate that' 'i hate this girl in this photo because she's way prettier than me & getting way more attention than i ever have at doing absolutely nothing, while i bust my ass for hardly anything' 'i hate how i'm having to apply for food stamps because getting a 2nd job to supplement my income doesnt seem to be happening very soon & the dss keeps calling me to ask questions and want to me fill out even more papers and send in more proof of my existence yet if i were an illegal immigrant itd be handed to me right away hardly any questions asked' 'i think i'm starting to hate illegal immigrants' 'no wait, its the government i hate' 'no, maybe both.' hate hate hate bitch bitch raaaawr MEAN MAD MONKEY!

its the wrong direction...why do i keep putting myself backwards? dumbom

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/9woRJ7-mD7Y/hqdefault.jpg

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#2 Thu 27th Feb 2014 11:14 am

SW
Member
Registered: Thu 15th Jan 2009

Re: You Ever Just Feel Like An A##hole?

It's pretty damn hard to be a human being. But all the little things we do really do matter -

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/pictures … -being-aga

Yep I cried, and that means I am human, and I have feelings, all kinds of them. hjarta


HOPE is the thing with feathers   
That perches in the soul,   
And sings the tune without the words,   
And never stops at all        Emily Dickinson

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#3 Mon 3rd Mar 2014 11:45 am

molly
♫♪
From: ∞
Registered: Thu 17th Apr 2008
Website

Re: You Ever Just Feel Like An A##hole?

SW wrote:

It's pretty damn hard to be a human being. But all the little things we do really do matter -

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/pictures … -being-aga

Yep I cried, and that means I am human, and I have feelings, all kinds of them. hjarta

I love that link, SW.. & yeah, I teared up at some of them as well.
Thank you hjarta

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